Wracająca do zdrowia anorektyczka opowiada o swoim leczeniu
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EDITORIAL USE ONLY. MATERIALS ONLY TO BE USED IN CONJUNCTION WITH EDITORIAL STORY. THE USE OF THESE MATERIALS FOR ADVERTISING, MARKETING OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL PURPOSE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. MATERIAL COPYRIGHT REMAINS WITH STATED PHOTOGRAPHER AND/OR SUP
22-Year-old Sydney Bohn from Twin Cities in Minnesota, was diagnosed with anorexia when she was just 14 years old after she began seriously restricting her food intake.
"Growing up, my relationship with food was just like any other kid's. I was the typical fussy eater, turning my nose up at certain foods, not out of defiance but just because I didn't like them. I'd eat when hungry and stop when full, and I never thought twice about indulging in sweets or fast food," Sydney recalled.
"However, everything shifted when I hit my tweens. Being part of the varsity swim team, we were put on a strict diet to 'taper' for important meets, cutting out as much salt, sugar, and fat as possible. After sections, I was able to return to a mostly normal diet for a few months before trying to taper again and developing a full-fledged eating disorder."
Syndey explained the common misunderstanding is that anorexia revolves solely around a desire for thinness driven by vanity. Yet, this perspective barely scratches the surface of the complex reality.
"For me, feeling sick somehow makes me feel safe, like I'm wrapped in a familiar blanket, even if that blanket isn't good for me. It's as if my unhealthy state draws more attention and concern from those around me, making me feel noticed and cared for in a way I don't when I'm healthy. Deep down, there's this nagging thought that I'm not all that likeable, that there isn't much about me for others to connect with or appreciate. So, in my head, maintaining what society views as an attractive physique becomes my bridge to forming connections with others," she admitted.
"It's like I've convinced myself that the only ticket to being seen and valued is through how I look, and that's a tough mindset to shake off."
Sydney continued: "The biggest obstacle I've had to overcome in treatment is my own thoughts. I have been through ten inpatient treatment stays, and none have ended well, all because I couldn't force myself to release control. I was kicked out of several programs for behaviours such as restriction, hiding food, and exercising on the sly. It wasn't until I went to ACUTE that I found a programme."
Sydney's most significant breakthrough came last December, marking the end of a gruelling seven-year battle with anorexia.
"I reached my lowest point mentally and physically. I was living in fear that I could die at any moment. I couldn't continue working, I couldn't get out of bed without help, I couldn't go up the stairs, and yet, I couldn't stop compulsively walking tens of thousands of steps each day. Nor could I bring myself to eat even a single calorie over my limit. I knew I couldn't go on another day, so I went to the hospital," she recounted.
Sydney acknowledges that her relationship with food and exercise is still far from healthy. Her journey to recovery is a work in progress, with a significant path still ahead. Currently, she's in a residential care facility where she gets round-the-clock support. Although she's gradually learning to be more self-reliant, she's open about the fact that she still relies on others for help.
"I started posting on TikTok because I felt truly alone. I had lost all of my friends after spending a year cycling in and out of treatment and isolating myself from people because I was ashamed to have anorexia. I was hoping to connect with other people trying to recover in hopes that I wouldn't feel so alone," said Syndey, who has 49.6k followers and 3.7M likes on the platform.
"Tiktok has been both helpful and harmful in my recovery journey. The most helpful thing has been my connections to other people working towards recovery. I've connected with so many people from whom I've both given and received support. The downsides, however, are numerous. For one, I've been exposed to a lot of pro-anorexia videos that have been very detrimental to my journey. Another negative is that my views have skyrocketed every time I've relapsed into an emaciated body. This gives me positive reinforcement for being unwell, which I feel has without a doubt contributed to my last two relapses."
To cope with societal pressures, Sydney has chosen to limit her exposure to potentially triggering content on social media, even if it means living in a bit of a bubble for now.
"What I wish people really got is how tough the fight against anorexia is. It's not something I'd ever choose. I absolutely hate actively engaging in restriction and compulsive exercise. The only reason I do is that the agony of not engaging is even worse. If I don't listen to what my eating disorder tells me, I spend hours, sometimes days, filled with guilt, shame, and self-disgust. I'm now focusing on finding my strength in a small support circle - my family and my treatment team. They're my rock on the hard days. Keeping busy and finding little distractions helps keep my dark thoughts at bay," she expressed.
"I want to tell anyone struggling with an eating disorder: it's totally okay to ask for help. Whether opening up to a friend or seeking professional advice, you're worth the effort. Recovery's tough, no doubt, but we all deserve a shot at happiness and health. I'm still on my path, taking it one step at a time, with a whole team behind me, day and night."
Featuring: Sydney Bohn
Where: Minnesota, United States
When: 03 Apr 2024
Credit: Sydney Bohn/Cover Images
**EDITORIAL USE ONLY. MATERIALS ONLY TO BE USED IN CONJUNCTION WITH EDITORIAL STORY. THE USE OF THESE MATERIALS FOR ADVERTISING, MARKETING OR ANY OTHER COMMERCIAL PURPOSE IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED. MATERIAL COPYRIGHT REMAINS WITH STATED PHOTOGRAPHER AND/OR SUPPLIER.**
2024-04-03
Cover Images/East News
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